Parts I and II are here, Part III is here and Part IV is here
Sweden doesn’t have the same lawsuit culture that we do in the States. I’ve had people ask me about those weird pickle or coffee related lawsuits directed at McDonalds. They think it’s absurd, and rightly so. The direct result of some of these lawsuits is lukewarm coffee, sadly, for American children, this culture has also resulted in the de-evolution of playgrounds. The fun splinter inducing, vertigo causing playgrounds of yore have now been replaced by idiot proof slides, that are more effective at generating static electricity than the much more entertaining kinetic energy (cheers for 1/2*m*v^2!)
That said, playgrounds over here are way cooler, and way more dangerous than those from our memories.
Take this gem for example:
It seems like trusting 6 year old kids to be climbing all over this after drinking their 10 ounce juice box is a bit irresponsible. This particular death trap is in
Another common feature is usually a net for climbing that even Spiderman wouldn’t leave his kids unattended on. Here’s a photo I shamelessly am stealing from Kelly, because I haven’t snapped a good photo of these before.
The following, also from Lund, is not dangerous as much as just disappointing. The slide looks cool and all but when Courtney sat down on it she didn’t move. That’s right, a slide that fails at it’s primary (and only) function. Perhaps Swedish kids just wear slipperier pants than us.
Today was a beautiful day and so we decided to go for a stroll in our neighborhood. On our adventure we came upon a park filled with fun little death traps. First, there was a little fort that appears to have been made out of a huge keg. Classy Sweden. Way to get them hooked young.
What a nice message for the kids huh? Maybe they would feel more at home with the following alterations:
The next thing to me looks pretty damn awesome. It’s like playing basketball only replacing the “basket” with a three-spouted funnel. I can only assume the sport is thus called “three-spouted funnelball”. I’ll have to check my official three-spouted funnelball rulebook, but the thing that jumps out at me is that there is a big piece of timber that appears to be there only to sprain unsuspecting 8-year-olds ankles.
The thing is that there was plenty of space to move the thing. The 3SFBA will be disappointed to hear of their rules weren’t strictly followed.
The swing below is illegal according to the Geneva Convention. The kid’s expression was a mixture of revulsion and terror, unfortunately the resolution was somewhat limited so I decided to reenact it manually.
However, the gem of this playground is this bizarre dragon, which has a ridiculous number of ways in which a child can seriously injury themselves or their pals. Let’s step through them shall we?
We’ll begin at the tail. Fun fun! A slide. A very very short slide. And I love that at the end the little kids can look forward to a gentle landing on a big rock. Skinned knees here we come!
And then there’s the tunnel portion. Apparently if it’s good enough for a ferret, it’s good enough for Sweden’s children. And what’s with the little flippers? Are you supposed to slide down on it? I imagine that when the kids are playing on it it’s reminiscent of one of those hotwheels tracks where cars are hitting jumps and colliding in mid-air.
So after the kids recover from their concussions, they get to navigate up the slick neck
If they survive that, next up is a balancing act on the way to rest on the dragon’s head. The stick figures represent the kids' lives that have been taken by this playground over the past calendar year. I want to point out that we’re only 2 months in. I should also point out that nobody keeps statistics regarding injuries such as broken bones, amputated limbs, etc.
And with that I leave you.
6 comments:
We had a four-spouted funnel at my elementary school. If I remember right, you threw the ball into the funnel, and four kids stood underneath the spouts. I forget if it was like foursquare and you had to catch it on the fly out of the spout, or if the objective was to catch the ball whichever spout it came out of. Anyway, catching was the point and shame followed any thrown ball that missed the funnel.
Also, right next to the ASTM standard on steel anchor bolts (F 1554) is the one that governs plaground equipment (F 1487). It can brighten a dreary day to read about appropriate diameter-velocity relationships for merry-go-rounds.
I cant wait to take Jacob on these!
I, too, have noticed the awesomeness of Swedish playgrounds.
PS- maybe Swedes are better able to utilize the slides because (1) tighter pants = more aerodynamic and (2) fashionable, space-age fabrics may create less friction than, say, denim.
I just added a video, thanks to Courtney's flickr site, that shows the lackluster slide in action.
Did Kyle go to elementary school in the Midwest? I can't remember. But I, too, had a funnel ball thing in my grammar school's playground.
We also had this twirly yellow plastic thing that was notorious for tangling the hair of the occupant in it. I was victim to this once; they had to cut my hair to free me. And then there was the pile of tires, no joke, that housed wasp nests every September. This is why I am tough! Word!
First off, the slide may not fail-we clearly established on your desert trip in Qatar that Courtney does not slide down things very well (sandboarding)-maybe it s Courtney who fails- just an idea.
Secondly, I'm pretty sure that we DON"T have to take my children here in July.
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